“Learning to Trust Ourselves and Others” Comments, Page 1

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8 Comments (One Discussion Thread) on “Learning to Trust Ourselves and Others”

  1. I would like to know how it is possible that you always write about things I am currently thinking about. Are you in my head somehow? :-)

    This is a subject very near and dear to my heart. But I need to think more about it before I can comment. I have a severe problem with trust and I don’t know where this started. I feel safe in my “trust-free zone”, but not happy.

    I will think more…and come back soon. Thank you for raising topics that give me opportunities to ponder my thoughts.

  2. Hi Harriet, maybe we share similar issues or a similar past or a past that means we have similar issues(?)

    I look forward to what you have to say when you come back. Thanks for letting me know that what I write relates to you – it’s important to me.

  3. You touched the key spot for blossoming to start, in my experience. Your description sounds simple, but the path to trust was anything but. It didn’t really matter what or whom I first trusted — it wasn’t me — because all experiences were a growing direction to freedom. How did I decide who to trust? By making a lot of bad choices, until I finally found that still, small “voice” within urging me to follow my heart. Like Harriet wrote above that you seem to be in her head. Once I’d had one or two beneficial experiences following my heart, I started to see that this was trusting myself, in fact. But using my head didn’t do it, only protected me from harm. I think the growth has to do with relearning the natural connection between our heads and heart, in the way you describe.

  4. Thanks Celeste, I should write something about the move from our head to our heart. I think we can be too head focused in our changes. The point you make about our head protecting us is important too. Thanks for your comment.

  5. This is a great reminder for me. I’ve been aware for a while that trust is one of the biggest obstacles to intimacy in all my relationships. Small steps seem to be the only way I can move forward in this as it is impossible to jump in if I don’t trust that the water will be there. Walking down the steps of a pool has always been my way… and I see why that is, now.

    I love the thoughts about being afraid – as in being afraid to cross a bridge because of trust issues. It’s true. I used to be terrified to fly, but since I’ve come to trust a higher power, I get on a plane and sit down and think “Whatever is meant to happen will happen.” Turning the results over to God has been the biggest trust healer for me.

  6. Hi Shen, spirituality doesn’t usually get much of a mention in psychotherapy (probably because pyschotherapists deal with the damage that religious institutions do), so I’m glad you found that this has been helpful to you.

    I do think that slow and steady is the safest way to deal with this issue. I’m glad that you have found you can make progress in this way.

    Thanks for your comment

  7. Hi Evan — this is definitely on point with where I’m at right now — it’s been feeling a lot easier for me over the last few months to request physical touch, or the ability to touch someone else, whether or not in a sexual context. Before, I would feel like touch is something that just has to occur without asking, because it’s somehow shameful to even talk about it, or sometimes that it just shouldn’t happen at all. Being in a community of people who offer each other nurturing touch a lot has been very helpful to me in that regard.

    1. Hi Chris, in my experience touch can be a huge issue. I’m glad you have found a place where you can give and receive nurturing touch. Thanks for your comment.

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