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Hi Evan — yes, that does seem like the more fruitful inquiry to make — “how is my concept of who I am contributing to feeling like my needs aren’t met?” — rather than “how can I make the world give me what I need?” or “who deserves to take the blame for me not getting what I need?” — which seem to be the kinds of questions people more commonly ask.
Thanks Chris, I really like you way of putting it. Many thanks for your comment.