“Change and Confusion: 4 Ways to Ease the Transition” Comments, Page 1

Just click to return to the article “Change and Confusion: 4 Ways to Ease the Transition”.

14 Comments (6 Discussion Threads) on “Change and Confusion: 4 Ways to Ease the Transition”

  1. I like the spirit of this post, reminds me of something Rainer Maria Rilke said, “Live the questions now.” I have been making my way through a lot of confusion in the last year, and writing has been my refuge. Just start writing it out, even if just to define the confusion. I also think that in addition to confusion, the sense of uncertainty can also be overwhelming. With change comes uncertainty – and I like to say to myself, “live the questions” – it grounds me in the process. That faith you speak of, for me, is a hope for something better. It’s a hope that truth matters, and that living according to my truth is worth the confusion and uncertainty.

    Thanks for a great post.

  2. Thanks upsi. The uncertainty is difficult too. And it is so tempting to make up a story or go back to an old habit to deal with it (for me anyway). I use journalling to get through stuff, it has helped me a lot (it sounds like you do too). I like that Rilke quote.

    I hope you are finding that living according to your truth is worth the confusion and uncertainty, even if you are in the middle of it and finding it hard to have a perspective on the process.

    Many thanks for your comment.

  3. Hi Evan — yes, that’s one of the most difficult things about personal growth, isn’t it — accepting that there are moments when we don’t know what we want, and sitting with the blankness, as opposed to “keeping our heads down” and continually charging in the same direction, hoping that our enthusiasm for the current path will return.

  4. I loved this post, Evan. So much of it was easy for me to relate to.
    And I really liked the Rilke quote too. I’m collecting things to use in my blog posts at the moment, and will try and include a link.

    Instead of writing a journal, which I did for many years, I’m a painter, and I look at my work after some time to see the truths about myself waiting to be found. Usually the unresolved things are the most useful. I also talk out any of the painful sticking points with trusted others first until I can see the light…usually a surprise. Then I encourage my readers to share their work and responses from my blog.

    1. Thanks Celeste. I use a journal to help me sort through things.

      I do find it interesting that we can look back on what we have created and learn about ourselves. We know more than we know – even about ourselves – sometimes.

      Thanks for any links you make to these posts. Many thanks for your comment.

  5. I do actually write a journal, but sporadically. Because it’s on my computer I tend to discount it as writing.

    It’s especially the dissatisfactions in any of my work that I find the most valuable. If I don’t go off in a sulk of failure, I can often resolve whatever issue is calling out to be seen. Bit by bit. Observing how I failed to meet my expectations can really make me sick, to think I’ve such an ego. Then that makes me sick, if I let it high-jack me on the rebound. It’s only another gift waiting to be found.

    1. Hi Celeste, for me it is usually frustration and then anger that get me out of my sulk. Then I can get to grips with dissatisfaction – start taking it apart, looking at what went wrong where and so on. This is my way to finding the gift in the dissatisfaction.

      I think, as you implied I think, that it is often our dissatisfactions that get our attention – and so learn from – more easily than our successes.

  6. Yes, it’s true. And I got the idea about success and unresolved issues from your pdf on Satisfaction from Authenticity rather than success. It’s a very useful document.

  7. Hi Evan,

    When I used to tell my therapist that I was confused, he would tell me that it was a good thing. It meant that I was moving forward. Boy did I get angry at him, but he is right. Working through confusion is so important to self-revealation. However, I think that trying to focus on figuring it out isn’t as important as allowing yourself to just let it be and take its own natural course.

    take care,

    1. Hi CC, I think that is true. One qualification – sometimes people are very overwhelmed and distressed and feel the confusion is too much. In this case it helps to have strategies to get grounded. Once they are not overwhelmed they can get on with living their way through it.

      Thanks for your comment. I do understand you getting angry – I’ve had similar reactions, Evan.

  8. Hi Evan,

    In looking around your counselling resources, I can’t see that you do any
    one-on-one sessions. In my dark and distant past, I was in therapy several
    times, with psychologists and a psychiatrist from various schools: Jungian,
    Freudian, Milton Erickson, etc.. Some helped a little, and a couple set me
    back years. So I’m quite gun shy, and would only consider therapy with
    someone I’d felt I could trust. The therapists in your list are probably all
    great and effective people, but it’s you I know the best.

    At the moment I’m doing well, but in future, if I feel the need, will you
    ever offer your services as therapist?


    1. I’d be happy to work with you Celeste. About personal stuff like this please communicate via my personal Living Authentically blog.

      Very much look forward to hearing from you and working with you when you feel the time is right for you, Evan.

The comment form is currently closed.

Overseen by an international advisory board of distinguished academic faculty and mental health professionals with decades of clinical and research experience in the US, UK and Europe, CounsellingResource.com provides peer-reviewed mental health information you can trust. BlogsInMind.com provides archived posts that have been retired from the main CounsellingResource.com blog Psychology, Philosophy and Real Life.

Copyright © 2002-2021. All Rights Reserved.