15 Responses (3 Discussion Threads) to “Why Intimacy is Important, Practically and Theoretically”

1. 

   Diane

   1

   15th July 2009

   Hi Evan!

   The grattitude of being able to honor the uniquiness of each individual you meet and greet within you everyday.

   Peace, Love and Joy,
   Diane
2. 

   Evan Hadkins

   2

   15th July 2009

   Beautifully put Diane, thankyou.
3. 

   matt

   3

   16th July 2009

   Evan – I really enjoyed this post, and found myself laughing out loud at your cake decorating example. I agree that seeing the world through another’s eyes is both remarkably difficult and incredibly precious, but as you point out it is the very sharing of the experience that can connect two people. Thanks.
4. 

   Evan Hadkins

   4

   16th July 2009

   Thanks Matt. Very glad you liked it.
5. 

   OP

   5

   16th July 2009

   Initimacy is about making a connection, just like commenting on a blog post: sometimes you don’t need to explain further.
6. 

   Evan Hadkins

   6

   16th July 2009

   True.
7. 

   OP

   7

   16th July 2009

   *smiles*
8. 

   Mia

   8

   17th July 2009

   Dealing with differences can lead to greater intimacy, as you stated, and for me lately has also lead to decisions to back off from further involvement in a friendship.
   I recently went on holiday to meet my friends family and be where he is, see where he comes from. Very nice holiday, lots to see, different cultures etc. Loved it.
   I also learned quite a bit about my friend. No matter the culture from which we originate, we are the same when it comes to character development and lack thereof. Words are still cheap, right?
   Go on and tell me you want me to be your wife. Promise me the world, give me jewelry, take me on holiday, but please, please get control of your life first.
   How in the world can intimacy be developed between two people when there is self deception going on? So we’ve not really become closer.

   We’ve talked about the things of concern, but there is a blank, or excuse for everything. My friend tried to reassure me, but continues to insist on things that are in the long term, harmful to our relationship. Lack of control over finances, attention getting behaviors, and the web addictions that accompany, These concerns will always be present until he puts his foot down, and keeps putting his foot down. It was time to back off. Acquaintences yes, friendship, nope.

   Hey, not that I have it all together, after all, I have a such a low threshold of tolerance that I may be single the rest of my life, but I feel like standing on a rooftop yelling out, “Are there any good men out there?”
   • 

     Evan Hadkins

     8.1

     17th July 2009

     Deception and self-deception probably do get in the way of intimacy. Although I guess there will usually be touches of it even when we are doing our best.

     I guess the backing off may be an intimate moment depending on how it was handled (by your partner as well as you).

     I think there are some good men around. I don’t know where the spaces are to connect easily though. Singles and meeting places are often full of expectations and pressure. I have found my partners through pursuing my interests and friendship. I hope you do find a good man and thank you for your comment.
9. 

   John

   9

   18th July 2009

   Unfortunately, intimacy hasn’t been that much apart of my life. I’ve been closing myself off from those types of relations for a while. It’s not until recently I went to college that I’ve opened myself up.

   Thanks for this post. It reminded me that intimacy is important.
10. 

    Evan Hadkins

    10

    18th July 2009

    Thanks John. I hope your finding that opening yourself up again is satisfying and a good experience for you.

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